when you left
you took almost
everything.
i kneel in the nights
before tigers
that will not let me be.

what you were
will not happen again.
the tigers have found me
and i do not care.

bukowski

i have ignored my responsibilities, obligations to friends, birthday presents, and etc. until very recently. sometimes it feels better to be disconnected from kids in orange county. especially the ones who can hardly empathize or even begin to compare their lives with yours. even friends can find it hard to relate when someone else's world is turned upside down. if you don't live in that world then how could it possibly affect you or strike any interest. you can listen and voice a simple " i'm sorry " but you know and they know- it is as significant as the water you waste showering for 30 minutes, the cans you don't recycle and the bubble wrap you pop.